;;sigh;;

So, apparently my attention to detail has not improved too much since I've managed to completely mess this blog up so people can't find it without realizing it. Needless to say, I'm a little frustrated by this turn of events since I've been feeling so great lately and this makes it apparent that I'm still just blindly doing thing without thinking about it or paying attention, but from here on out I Will be very attentive when ckiking around my blog site!

Day By Day

I've been working on reading one of Christopher Reeve's books, "Nothing is Impossible". I am now to the part of the book wher ehe talks about his recovery process, reading this book has been very inspirational for me, it reminds me that things could be worse, and the tone of the book is hopeful, reading about his recovery is opening my eyes to a truth that I've been forgetting, every small success is a step in the right direction, every time I get o the top of The Stairs is a victory, even something as small as moving my big toe on myleft side, which I did the other night,is some thing to be celebrated, my constant impatience has had me feeling that  Iam making no progress, because I am not better NOW and reading his book has made me see that with soem patience and determination there is n reason why I can't recover!I just have to take iot dtep by step and one day at  a time

Bored

 When Iwas a kid and  had to stay home from school my mom used to say that Iwould bore myself weel, you ssee, I',m not nor nor have I ever been a person who likes to stay at home doing nothing day after day after day, but that is pretty much what my days consist of right now, Atypical day for me right now is sitting on my couch, ewatchingThe West Wing and, of course, waging my war against my arch nemisis, The Stairs  Ikno, itsounds awful, but normally when I am participating in TV binge as epic as this, Iamcrochetingg my head off, but I'm a lefty and that's the side that doesn't work anymore.. At least if Could crochet I wouldn't feel so unproductive and useless and isolated. I feel very cut off from society rtightnow, but  Ithink that I am now bored enough to be cured, The thing that keeps me going s this blog, it helps me feel like I  Accomplished something for the day  And Iytuly believe it helps my recovery, so thsnks for reading, yall!

Fear

Inthe last week I have developed completely irrational and ridiculous fear of the stairs in my house, this is incredibly frustrating and discouraging because for weeks now I've been climbing and walking past the top of the stairs with no problem I live in a tri-level home so in order to get up to my room I have to climb three small sets of stairs, about 14 steps in all, I haven't had an issue with doing this up til now, in fact, it's been going really we,  the problem is this:there are only rails on the left side of the stairs, obviously that is not the best set up for me, so
Ih ave to go up the stairs sideways, I hold onto the Bannister with my right hand,use my strong right leg to lift myself and my left leg onto the next stair up, oh and I have to make sure my cane gets up the stairs with me whever I encounter the stairs Iget nauseous, dizzy and lightheaded, this fear is quickly becoming almost crippling, I spent all day yesterday, being anxious about having to deal with the stairs, and let me tell that is exhausting, so today I've decided to enjoy my day and to not worry about the stairs and to conquer them today, so I don't have to deal with this fear anymore!

Progress

y marks my three month strokiversary, so Ithought I'd give myself a little progress report to help myself see howfar I've come in three months. While I know that I've made great leaps and strides over the last few months, the progress is slow and hard to see when you are living it
-When I first started inpatient rehab about two and a half months ago Couldn't sit up straight or look anyone directly in the eyes, now i' going up and down the stairs multiple times a day
-when Istarted rehab Icould barely move myleft leg, in order yo get it to move Ihad to exhale like I was lifting a heavy weight just to get it to move, now it listens to me and moves easily, most of the time, three months ago I could barely do simple math, now I am able to do it relatively easily when my speech therapist asks me toWhen I started this blog I had very hard time typing, let alone remembering to hit the space bar, now, Ia a now ablem male to stay foused on the task at hand and check my spelling before posting, so Imust say, I think things are going pretty well, even though I may have bad day once in awhile

About me!

As I was lying in bed last night, it occurred to me that there are many people who read this blog who don't know much about me, while I enjoy sharing my journey, with all of you,  I thought I'd give you a littl peak at me!Iam 33 years old, born and raised in Michiga, although Ispen most of my 20s moving around from NewHaven, CT to Manhattan, to Minneapolis, MN And back here, to Kalamazoo, MI, yes there really is a Kalamazoo, Itend to be boistrous and outspoken, I love to be the center of attention, which is why Imajored in theatre performance in college.Myfavorite things include: old movie musicals especiall if they faeture Gene kelly or Judy Garland, I am a Revolutionary War buff, an think John Adams was probablt the coolest person to ever have livedMy favorite musician isErinMKeown and, let me tellyou, if you like quirky, brilliant and super cool femalr singer/songwriters, check her out!Any questions?